


Habituation

by TheIndifferentDroid



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Nightmares, Recurring Dreams, eruri - Freeform, suggested reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-17 23:26:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17569943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIndifferentDroid/pseuds/TheIndifferentDroid
Summary: habituation: decrease in responsiveness upon repeated exposure to a stimulusLevi has a dream about Erwin. He keeps having it.





	Habituation

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here we are. This is the product of me falling into this fandom and this ship in about 30 days and then having feelings at 1am after already being emotionally compromised by watching Rogue One. 
> 
> Thanks to [EllaBesmirched](https://archiveofourown.org/users/El_Bell/pseuds/EllaBesmirched) for being an enabler :)

Levi has this dream, a recurring one that he doesn’t tell Erwin about. He refuses. No matter how many times he wakes up in a cold sweat screaming Erwin’s name. No matter how many times Erwin gently tries to coax it out of him with soft touches and pleading eyes. He won’t tell Erwin.

 

He can’t tell Erwin.

 

The dream started out foggy, at first. Levi had only been able to remember bits and pieces, lingering feelings of guilt picking at his insides one morning, his chest bursting with heartache the next. He never knew why. But it continued, his recollection of it sharpening until it was so vivid it hurt. 

 

It’s the same situation every time: a rooftop, a decision to make. And Levi never picks Erwin, as much as he’s tried to change the trajectory of the dream. He’s nearly made himself sick some nights—eyes wide open staring at the darkness with Erwin breathing evenly next to him—attempting to alter the ending before he even falls asleep.  _ Give it to Erwin. Give it to Erwin. Give it to Erwin. _ He repeats it over and over, eyes finally drifting shut and his thoughts slurring after he’s silently mouthed the words forty or a hundred times. This happens more often than he cares to admit and may be why he’s been screaming Erwin’s name more and more recently, having fallen asleep with it ghosting over his lips.

 

Levi is convinced now, though, that this isn’t just a dream, or a nightmare. The events are so similar—so regimented, staged, scripted, so frustratingly identical every time—that this can’t not be real. And suddenly, Levi just  _ knows _ that in some other time, hundreds of lives ago, thousands of years in the past, that he had to make a decision. 

 

It takes Levi weeks to believe his own theory. He doesn’t want to admit that he’d… that that  _ other _ Levi would do such a thing. He pulls Erwin closer to him that night—the night he is certain of the past—squeezes him tight, appreciates the weight of the larger man against his chest. He doesn’t recite his mantra. 

 

He sleeps peacefully after that, at least for now, at least in this life. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr as [huxandthehound](https://huxandthehound.tumblr.com/) and twitter @[NonchalantDroid](https://twitter.com/nonchalantdroid). Come say hi.


End file.
